Completely Made-up Omens Which Will Probably Come True
Send E. Jean's
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Today's Horrorscope Thursday March 11th |
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Forget the lessons you learned in the past!!! Think critically.
Aries
[March 21 - April 19]
Don't neglect your friends.
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Taurus
[April 20 - May 20]
Don't blame yourself. Blame the system!
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Gemini
[May 21 - June 20]
Keep trying! ...Even if you fail the first 100 times!
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Cancer
[June 21 - July 22]
Do you want to make some money? Write a child's book.
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Leo
[July 23 - August 22]
Choose art over science!
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Virgo
[August 23 - September 23]
Sometimes you just cannot win. I am sorry. But the time may come where you have to face the facts.
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Libra
[September 24 - October 22]
Sometimes...you just gotta lie.
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Scorpio
[October 23 - November 22]
You only live ONCE.....Well...maybe twice.
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Sagittarius
[November 23 - December 24]
Take advantage of those more fortunate than you!
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Capricorn
[December 25 - January 19]
Try to be on top of things this week! Don't slip!
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Aquarius
[January 20 - February 18]
You are about to make the impossible possible.
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Pisces
[February 19 - March 20]
Plan ahead this week! You'll regret it by Friday if you don't...
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The Dope Blogoscope:
A Quack Recommends the Best and Worst of the Blogosphere
The Good
Aww. Did you see Nicole Richie rap on Ellen?
The rap she performed, which she wrote when she was eight, is about as good as a Ke$ha's raps are now.
-Keith Hunt March 10, 2010
The Bad
Amy Lee says that Evanescence is working on a new album. She says that the album will have a more synthetic sound as a result of her listening to a lot of La Roux lately.
Unfortunately, I have also been listening to a lot of synthetic music lately. And so, from now on, all my blogs are going to just be me typing onomatopoeias of electronic sounds.
-Keith Hunt March 10, 2010
The Terrible
Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for making a commercial starring a "milkaholic" talking baby named Lindsay. Lindsay thought the commercial was poking fun at her.
I am also suing E Trade, but I'm suing them for still thinking talking babies are funny. It wasn't funny when Look Who's Talking came out, and it's still not funny.
-Keith Hunt March 10, 2010
