Completely Made-up Omens Which Will Probably Come True

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Wednesday February 1st

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For some weirdly inexplicable reason, Andrew Hunt has been scarily accurate in his predictions. He shoots his forecasts at The Albion Hotel, Guelph, Ontario, Canada.
If Your Birthday Is Today You can achieve GREAT things!!!
Aries [March 21 - April 19]

Getting out to debt is easy.  Drink tons of alcohol.  Hide you credit card and make a map that leads to it while you're still intoxicated.

Taurus [April 20 - May 20]

You will find love as soon as you stop looking!

Gemini [May 21 - June 20]

Show respect to everyone - especially the people who seem like they do not deserve it.

Cancer [June 21 - July 22]

Never be upset that your childhood wishes did not come true.  I wished for a shark fin when I was a lad.  Thank god for misheard prayers!

Leo [July 23 - August 22]

Don't start a relationship with coffee.  Start it with an argument (just to get used to the way things are going to be).

Virgo [August 23 - September 23]

There is no fate.  Take what you want; and don't let anyone stand, sit, or break-dance in your way!

Libra [September 24 - October 22]

Want to make money?  Follow trends!!!

Scorpio [October 23 - November 22]

Romance is not when he will kill a spider for you.  It is when you both run out of the room screaming, and sleep on the couch together, out of fear.

Sagittarius [November 23 - December 24]

Are you feeling sad?
Treat yourself!!!

Capricorn [December 25 - January 19]

You need 3 things in life:  Something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to...

Aquarius [January 20 - February 18]

Think of all the cliche piece of advice you have heard.  It's pretty damn good advice!.

Pisces [February 19 - March 20]

People will find you smart if you hide your work!

The Dope Blogoscope:
A Quack Recommends the Best and Worst of the Blogosphere

The Good

Adam Lambert says that he is set to release an acoustic album around Thanksgiving.

I love acoustic albums. Everyone just seems more relaxed when acoustic guitars and bongos are around. The world governments need to have an acoustic jam session, and then all the problems of the world would go away.

Every day would become a holiday, and Jack Johnson would sing the world's national anthem.

Keith Hunt  October 27, 2010

The Bad

Billy Ray Cyrus is divorcing his wife of 17 years.

Uh oh! I hope this doesn't mean Miley's going to start rebelling even more. If her shorts get any shorter, they'll be a thong. If her shorts get any shorter, they'll be those shorts that NBA players used to wear back in the day.

Keith Hunt  October 27, 2010


The Terrible

In a recent interview, Rihanna admitted that her first encounter with Russel Brand was a negative one. She was sick at the time, and she apparently didn't find any of his jokes funny.

Brand is hilarious! Rihanna, you have unrealistic demands.

Women think they're not as shallow as men because men judge women on looks, whereas women judge men on sense of humor and personality. But I'm going to argue that your unrealistic demands of our sense of humor is just as bad as our unrealistic demands of your looks.

My sense of humor is going to go get some breast implants now. You have yourself to blame, women. Totally JK. I love you an R&B kinda way. xoxo

 Keith Hunt  October 27, 2010