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You wake up, the sun streaming through the blinds and you lazily stretch to welcome the morning. Then you look down…crap, you’re not wearing any clothes. Then you look beside you. Uh oh, someone else is in your bed. Oh wait, this isn’t your bed. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the morning after. An occurrence that we’ve all been familiar with at least once in our lives and something that makes most people cringe when faced with the aforementioned situation.

So what is a person to do when faced with this awful (and awkward) predicament?

If You’re At Their Place:

1.) Don’t panic. Scan the room for your belongings, trying not to budge and wake them. Once you’ve located a few articles of clothing, grab them and swiftly change. Remember to be quiet.

2.) By no means should you kiss them goodbye or leave a note on their pillow. This just makes an already awkward situation even more so and the note just makes you look desperate. We’re not in a Jennifer Garner movie so I’m sorry, but this doesn’t fly.

3.) If for some reason the other person wakes up while you’re in the process of leaving, quickly make up an excuse about having somewhere else to be (it doesn’t matter that it’s 7am).

If They’re At Your Place:

1.) One of the worst things is when you want someone out and they just don’t get the hint. If this seems to be the case, get up and start closing drawers, getting dressed, brushing your teeth-anything that will make them think, “hey, I guess he/she has something to do”

2.) If they really don’t seem to get the hint, or even worse, turn on the TV and try to catch up on syndicated reruns, you by all means have permission to get physical. This could include, but is not limited to, pushing, prodding and in extreme circumstances, kicking and screaming. If this doesn’t do the trick, maybe try the police.

3.) Don’t offer them breakfast or any sort of incentive to stay. A one night stand/booty call explicitly rules out heading to Ihop to discuss what you did with your legs last night. Besides, that sausage might not look so good nestled next to your scrambled eggs.

Basic Rules of Thumb:

1.) If you don’t know the name of the person with whom you have just engaged in nocturnal nooky with, it is not only permissible, but advisable to search for some sort of clue. This could include scouring a handbag or pocket in an attempt to locate a license or debit card (after they’ve left the room) or excusing yourself to use the restroom and then scanning the medicine cabinet for any type of prescription. Only use pet names such as “hey you”, “babe” or “hun” if you seriously have no idea.

2.) If the other person tries to snuggle, abort mission. Make it clear that you’re not there to spoon, but rather had a great time and unfortunately have to leave. If the person is persistent, loudly say, “I’m just not into that! My God, you’re smothering me!” They should then get the hint.

3.) Unless you genuinely had a great time, don’t say it. You won’t hurt their feelings by remaining mum but you will set yourself up for relentless text messages such as, “Where R U? My place in 10?”

4.) If you haven’t exchanged numbers, but want to, proceed with caution. If they’re at your apartment, it’s alright to see if they want to hang out again. If you’re in their territory, wait for them to say something, otherwise you might just seem like you’re trying to get your in.