Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

I just started in a running group. I noticed one guy kept locking eyes with me. I really couldn’t stop thinking about him after I left. I ran with my group again but he didn’t see me. There was a lot of people and it was night outside. Our group posted a group photo on Instagram. I found him via there. I want to reach out to him and say I noticed him on our run. If he wants to go out.
Is this too forward? He doesn’t know who the heck I am. I’m basically a total stranger he only saw once (but he kept looking at me lol) He’s a regular there, I can see. I know he’s single.
Or should I wait and eventually he’ll see me. Guys never approach me. What should I do?!

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    Kal
    I'd suggest you wait for a bit. You've seen him basically once ... sending a message to him right away will probably come off as a little desperate. (Or stalker-y!) Especially as you know you'll be seeing him again soon ... you'll see him again at the running group, right?

    I think your best bet is to try to angle your way into a conversation with him at a future running group event. See if there's anything there; maybe you'll find that he's nice, maybe you'll find that he's not really all that interesting. Who knows? But you've got a chance to chat with him in a context that's totally natural, with people around -- and a good excuse to *literally* run away if he turns out to be a dud.

    Good luck!

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    Gerbera
    Kal is right, keep some distance for now. A lot of women are go getters, we see something we like, we want it. In the game of desire be secure and play your cards right. Observe him a bit, exchange a few words next time you see him, let it develop naturally. And yes, run away just when things get interesting, it will keep him intrigued. Good luck!

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    Robynne
    I think that in general, if a woman is interested in a man, she should ask him out instead of hanging around waiting for him to notice her.

    That said, you have no idea whether or not you are actually interested in him as a human being, because you don't know him. Locking eyes revved up your hormones, but that's all you've got so far -- a chemical reaction to a total stranger.

    Also, I know that when I was a single little cupcake I hated it when guys assumed that every social interaction was an opportunity to try to pick me up. Asking him out after seeing him twice might make him uncomfortable if he is just there to run, you know?

    So, my advice is to continue on with the running club and if you see this guy, pay attention to how he interacts with the other members of the group. If it's a small group, he will most likely also interact with you now and then, giving you more information about who he is as a person.

    Once you get to know him a bit, you should be able to tell whether he is interested in you or at least open to the possibility and then you can make a more informed decision as to whether or not to ask him out.

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