Let me put it to you from her perspective. Let's pretend I'm her.

So let's get this straight: I can't really handle hanging out with people from law school right now, and that pisses you off? "She does not want to hang out with our law school friends!" You say. Well, you know why? It's because I feel like a fucking idiot. I feel like the one idiot out of our friends who didn't make the cut. And when I'm around you guys, and you talk about school like it's so damn important--guess what? It makes it seem like, I don't know, like I FUCKED UP A REALLY IMPORTANT THING! It's embarrassing. It sucks it sucks it sucks.

But oh--it's not like that? I should hang out anyway? Okay. Maybe you're right. Afterall, our friendships are about more than the fact that we took a few classes together. So here I am. I'm hanging out with my friends. My friends who will like me even if I'm not in class with them So, let's talk about--well, what do YOU want to talk about? Oh...really? Class? That's all you can talk about? ALL you can talk about is the thing that makes me feel the most embarrassed in the world? Well, guess what? Law school is fucking stupid. Screw you guys.

AND...SCENE!

Anon, look. It's not convenient that people have feelings about things that happen in their lives and they have pride and they have things they have a hard time with....but it happens. To all of us. We're human. She's human. She's having a hard time with this, so cut her a freaking break. She doesn't want to hang out with a big group of law school people, then don't be upset about it, and don't be surprised if, when she does hang out, it's really uncomfortable. She'll get over it one day, but come on, now. If you were having a hard time dealing with something, I'm sure you'd appreciate a little patience.

Hang out with her one on one.

Yes, I have to agree with the other Vixens.

Unfortunately, you have to let her get over the shock, lick her wounds, decide what she wants to do next and it really is just too much to listen to everyone else who did well.

Obviously she can't be this way forever, but right now she must be feeling just awful so I think you need to be generous in your success and give her some TLC.

I can empathize with what your friend is experiencing. I tucked up 6 years of orchestra and rehearsing and concertos and practice in a matter of months. It was a failure. It was embarrassing. It sucked MAJOR ass. And no, I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, or hear how their recitals were going, or anything. It made me feel worse. I was obviously the fuckup, the retard, the idiot, the one who wasn't good enough.

Have some compassion for christ-sake. She's feeling awful. Maybe next time, you can keep in mind what a devastating blow that must have been and can try talking about something else.

Thanks for your replies! I think you're right Vixens. So we went to dinner last night one on one. I'm serouisly wondering what we have in common besides school. I promised I wouldn't talk about school all night. I laid low, we'd talk about the things she wanted to talk about and it blew up in my face. I think I'm at fault though :(. Okay, so we have completely different lifestyles. So the whole night she seems back to her old self. Happy and discussing new things in her life. But it was stupid stuff. Nothing substantive! Such as, she just bought the cutest dress at Neiman's for 50% off and she met a guy who plays basketball near her house. First off, she doesn't have the money to shop at Neimans. Not with her school loans creeping up on her. Second off, this guy doesn't even have a college degree! I'm not sure why this bothered me so much. So basically I told her what I think about both scenarios. I wasn't doing it to be mean. I really wasn't. Well she got offended and left early. I'm starting to requestion our friendship. I feel like maybe I should apologize :(. But I also feel like I'm right.

You may be right, but was it necessary to tell her this explicitly? How was this encouraging/bolstering for her?

Wowwwww, You sound like a real jerk.

Check yourself, Babe.

Perhaps you are not meant to be friends, but to think you are correct and she is in the wrong..... Get over yourself.

Yes - apologize to her and remind her (and yourself) what your intentions were for the one-on-one time. If your friendship happens to move forward, commit yourself to being more encouraging and less judgemental of how she spends her money on and who she spends her time with.

1) I don't think you guys are well suited to be friends.
2) You were completely in the wrong.

These things you disapprove of? They would be the wrong move FOR YOU. Not for her. Plenty of people do not hold degrees in such high regard. As for her money issues--again, people have different priorities about what to spend money on (and come on, dude. She got it at 50% off. And do you know when the LAST time she bought a dress is? You don't know the details of her finances. She does. So you just trust her. You also don't know the details of her love life. She does. So if she's happy, you trust her).

And the worst part of it is? Your comments, while you don't think they do, speak DIRECTLY to the fact that you're still in law school and she's not. Her student loans are due so she needs to not spend money on clothes (but not so for you, huh? You are still in school. Which means you are rewarded with the ability to do what you want without judgement). This guy she is happy with doesn't have a college degree (and degrees are VERY important. Says the girl who is busy attaining one to the girl who no longer is).

This entire meeting was one where you made it clear that you are superior because of what your life choices are, and she is a big fuck up. Which is EXACTLY what was trying to be avoided.

I think you need to apologize.