My boyfriend bailed out on me on a backpacking trip we were supposed to do with a group next weekend.
I asked him if he was interested in going two months ago and he said yes. Neither of us have really done any overnight backpack trips so we don't have all the gear.
We've both been really busy and haven't had time to plan much, but it's only two days and one night and the only thing left to do was figure out what to pack, everything else is handled.
Well I tried to talk to him about it last night, what his thoughts were on food and water (carrying all our water vs. bringing a filter), etc. He got really annoyed about the whole thing and said he wasn't going to have time this week to deal with it, and people shouldn't invite people on a trip and expect them to buy gear for it and have to deal with logistics.
Now I know him very well, and this is just his way of getting out of doing something he doesn't really care to do without being the bad guy.
Basically if I want to do this trip with him, I have to drive, pay for gas, get his gear for him, and arrange for his food and water. He said all he should have to do is show up with his sleeping bag.
I don't have the time or money to sort out gear for him, and I don't really want to. If the situation was reversed he would tell me I need to take care of myself.
Anyhow... I feel kind of like I got punched in the emotional stomach. he's very capable, makes more money than me, and we both work long hours, so when he makes blanket statements that if I invite him to do something with me that means I pay and arrange all the details. But if he asks me to do something, I have to pay my own way and show up prepared, he shouldn't have to do anything to "take care of me". Does that sound like he's just not interested in having a girlfriend?
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Josephine wrote: Ooh, yuck. Too selfish and does he think a lot of himself? Yes, yes, yes. Forget it. Two people who are in the early stages of a relationship would be expected to pay for the other if they are the one who issued the invitation. All the financial burden, however, should never be put on one person even if you are further along. If there is a problem with one person not having time or money to prepare, then this should be discussed and solved fairly. If he really did not have the money, he should have said no. If he did not have the time at the last minute he should have asked pretty please if you could handle it and he would make it up to you. That is what couples do. This guy is a user and rude and the relationship is completely unbalanced. I think I would leave this fellow behind.
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