Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

So I have been with my boyfriend for three years and he has never made me cum. Like through oral sex or intercourse- infact, he doesnt know how to do oral sex- he bites me and i get irritated. Intercourse is so short that he finishes before i even get in the mood.
A friend of mine said that each time we have sex, i should allow him to see me masturbate and if he asks why, i should tell him becus i didnt cum. It ll make him guilty and he ll try harder. Is it wise?? because seriously now- i might just fuck someone else for satisfaction. I m at my brim!!

  • Cast your vote
    for Best Advice
    • give advice
    send this question to a friend



    Robynne
    Anon, your orgasms are not your boyfriend's responsibility.

    I also have to say that making someone feel guilty about how they behave in bed is just about the cruelest and stupidest advice I've ever heard.

    If you're mature enough to be having a sexual relationship, you should also be mature enough to take responsibility for your own pleasure, and to discuss any problems that occur.

    If his biting irritates you, stop him gently and redirect him, don't just lie there being irritated. And stop having intercourse before you're in the mood -- WTF? You can't let him treat you like an inflatable doll and then complain because he treats you like an inflatable doll.

    Start taking more control in bed. Guide him playfully into doing what you want, don't do anything before you're ready to and FFS use your words!




    reply to Robynne
    send this answer to a friend




    BirdofHermes
    Have you been faking? Because that's a hard knot to untie.

    You need to tell him what you like because up to this point, you haven't been honest with him. If you get irritated, it just makes him feel bad, so instead of that, bop him on the head and tell him to please never EVER bite you again. It's tender and you would prefer to be licked and kissed down there, without any teeth.

    You deserve orgasms. Who cares if it hurts his feelings? Take responsibility for the fact that you lied to him, tell him that you know it's your fault for not speaking up sooner and that you're sorry, but you're ready to reveal more of yourself now.

    This could be a good thing. I mean, the beginning of emotionally and physically satisfying sex is just on the horizon! Speak up, but do so with love and honesty, not expectation and disappointment.

    reply to BirdofHermes
    send this answer to a friend


    Give advice or add a comment: