On the one hand, I agree with BirdofHermes. Sometimes you just gotta bitch, and for as much as people are all like, "Get rid of anyone negative in your life," my feeling is...oh, come on. Part of being a good friend/boyfriend/whatever is taking the good with the bad and being there when someone is having a tough time.

But on the other hand, it may be helpful to YOU to be forced to find the positive in your day. He may be of the mentality that if you bitch a lot about one particular thing...either accept that thing for what it is or change it. And that's not a bad point. It's a pretty good one, actually.

So maybe take it as a challenge to better your situation. So when he asks you how your day was, you can say, "I applied to a job that looks promising!" and lead with that.

That, of course, still leaves the day to day stuff that drives you nuts that somebody just MUST listen to and sympathize with (we all need that).

Now is the time to bring out your inner comedian. I'd bet you could complain all you want if you're able to find the humor in the stuff going on around you--and better than getting his approval, it will likely make the time between now and when you get a new job much more enjoyable if you approach everything with a humorous outlook. You don't have tragic stories from work--from now on, you've got FUNNY stories from work. You can highlight everything that happened, and still relay how frustrating your job is, and you can do it smiling.

But if you occasionally can't find the humor...he kind of just needs to deal with it. But try to find the humor, and stress the ways in which your changing your situation.

There is an appropriate time and place for complaints. Such as when something needs to be brought to someone's attention to be resolved. That's kind of the point of a complaint, isn't it?

Likewise, there is a time and a place for venting, you need to get some work stress off your chest. It's not supposed to be a daily event though. Your boyfriend is there to listen, but men also want to fix things for their loved ones, and if he's listening to you vent every single day about something that can't be changed, it becomes a negative environment. If you're already on the hunt for a new job, and you can't change the things at work you don't like, there's not much point to complaining about it.

Look at it this way, your job sucks, which is a bummer, but if you're bringing it home and spending your precious free time talking about it, you're just extending the misery. And you're not getting paid for that time. We have so few hours of the day where we're not stuck at work, why waste them talking or thinking about work?

If you can't turn your brain off about work when you get home, use that frustration as the impetus to do something to change the situtation by working on your resume, taking a class that will build your skill set, doing research on job opportunities, practice your job interview skills, etc.
You can also channel that frustration into something good for you, like working out.

In the meantime, it also helps to change your perspective about work. Find things about work that you do like, no matter how small. Try to cultivate friendships at work. Find ways to make the day better for yourself. Focus on what a good job you're doing, and how you can make the most of your time at work and use it to your advantage. If it was fun, they woudn't call it work, and wouldn't need to pay us. But there are ways of making even those miserable job better by changing how you look at it.

Good luck with the job hunt!

Bitch to your girlfriends. A LOT. Call them often.

I agree with everything that the Vixens above have said, but: "My boyfriend wants to hear about my day, but doesn't want to hear about the negative stuff."

Um ... no.

Your boyfriend does not get to decide what parts of your day are acceptable for his delicate, shell-pink ears to hear. It is not your responsibility to make your home The Land of the Happy Nice People so that he doesn't have to face the reality that you are stuck in a situation that he can't fix.

Do be aware of exactly how much you complain and do a little self-evaluation to make sure you haven't tipped over the line from being unhappy at work to taking pleasure in victim-hood or martyrdom. That happens to the best of us.

You also need to sit down with your boyfriend and get to the bottom of this "La-la-la *fingers in ears* can't hear any negatives" stuff because that is not how adults go through life.

"My boyfriend wants to hear about my day, but doesn't want to hear about the negative stuff."

That sentence got to me too. I mean, I can understand that he may be the type of person who likes to focus on the positive. But simply issuing a demand that no negativity will be listened to? Or even requesting you to simply keep your negative feelings to yourself? That's not healthy, and it's certainly not supportive.

Or are we somehow misreading the sentence?

My sister's hubby is this way.

Actually, my dad's this way, too.

Both my sis and my mom just call their girlfriends and vent.


***EDIT*** My father and brother-in-law both feel that if you bitch about your job, you should switch jobs. And they get frustrated b/c they can't "fix" the situation. They don't tolerate venting well. And my sis (in particular) likes to vent. A lot.

You ruined your whole day at work there is no reason to ruin your whole evening talking about how much it sucked.

As for a mantra, the best thing that I have discovered is to force myself to smile: TRULY smile. Using those muscles makes your body happy - you can help outsmart yourself if you make a big enough effort, I PROMISE.

Job sucks but life doesn't suck.
Job is a blessing and a curse: it comes with benefits and challenges.

Start looking at your job as a foe to be conquered instead of a burden you have to bear.

Um, you simply stop. Really - stop. You have complete control over what comes out of your mouth. And you know your boyfriend is tired of hearing it so that should be a motivator. Why not take the drive home as your time to vent aloud in the car, and get it out of your system. Then try to find one good thing to say about work when he asks. Otherwise, look for a new job before your boyfriend decides he needs to look for a positive person to be with.

and PLEASE spare your girlfriends.

I've lost friends over this. Honestly. I can't stand to listen to people complain about work. If you don't like it quit. Or say something to the person pissing you off or WHATEVER. YOu are making the choice to be there (whether it's no choice or not it's a choice) so just shut up about it.