I don't understand why any self respecting woman would WANT to do both, but if you must there are options. Like having someone else raise your child while you're off doing the career thing.

There's also stay-at-home husbands. I see them on "Wife Swap" all the time.

pick happiness

Stay-at-home husbands are weak, pitiful men that need to be hit upside the head. The husband’s job is to have a job. Not sit at home and do the women’s work. The woman’s job is to have the babies and then be a mother to them. If you want to work that's all fine and dandy but doing both is selfish and unfair to your children. Pick one and stick to it.

Definitely possible to do both, but it's a family decision. If you decide to do both, then both partners just need to step up and share the family chores, etc. Just don't forget that regardless of how tired you are at the end of a tough day at work, the kids still need and want your love and attention.

i just wouldn't even know where to get the energy. if i spend the afternoon with my neices i am destroyed. i know you become super human when you have kids, you must, i guess you have to decide what is within your abilities when the time comes but i definatly don't think it is a selfish thing. i read an article about european moms and how they make sure to have real lives after childbirth and they said it was better for both the mommies and the kids because the women felt more fufilled and had more to give to their kids. but it also mentioned that there is more support for families in europe or something like that.

Make your man stay at home with the kids. Puhleeze, we are out of the dark ages and into the sunshine of a competent woman.

I think it is a personal choice Tiff, You can do both, it is very possible, I had a set of twin's worked a fulltime job and taught a class all at the same time, But that was then, this is now, I love staying at home, I dont really feel like i am less of a person for walking away from a career I love to raise my kids, But i often miss Work, even though This being at home thing is so worth it to me.
So there is the option, to get a job, stay at home, or work from home.
There are always possiblities

I love working and having my career, but I can't wait to be able to have kids and have a family. Nothing can replace the happiness around family. Not even a huge paycheck. I choose kids.

I'm surprised at the many people encouraging choosing one over the other. Agreed with Zoe, we are out of the dark ages, get a job!

This day and age, I see stay at home moms as unfulfilled. It's not only about being inferior to your male breadwinner, but about having a fulfilled life for yourself. Can you see yourself being satisfied at the end of the day, not leaving the home for hours and hours?

I could never ever do that.

Choose your career. This not only will provide you with a more fulfilled life, but teach your kids about what they can do, too. It will give them more opportunities, more wisdom about the world if you are working. There is no doubt in my mind that having a career is better for your kids and you.

I completely agree with what is being said above. Why do you have to choose? Granted one takes more of a priority over the other but that doesn't mean it needs to be a Sophie's choice type deal.

Those 'unfulfilled' stay at home moms are probably women who felt like they needed to make a choice and so they picked one, probably out of fear. Everything is about balance. You can happily have both a career and family if it is really what you want. Who knows, maybe you will find that being a stay at home mom is really what you want to do or you get your SigO to be the stay at home one and you run off and be the career woman you should be.

Talia, how are you finding these ancient and obscure threads??

yeah seriously, why are you resurrecting threads from years ago? There are enough current questions to not have to deal with this.